Many of the best and most important things in my life, the things that I really love, enjoy and satisfy me the most, the days that I remember, burnt into my mind, and all the stuff that’s really helped me grow and changed things in me, my life, my journey… they were all preceded and accompanied by a hearty dose of self-doubt, anxiety or fear. And what felt and often still feels like the real potential for landing on my face, or ass. Or both.
Going to college. Performing a solo recital. Not going home. Leading the music in a church. Answering telephones for a living. Overseas travels. Changing careers with nothing but a burning desire to do so. Moving around the UK. Clambering up, jumping off and sliding down mountains. Diving deep underwater. Skating too fast. Cycling across countries. Leaving my job, giving away most of my possessions and setting off to become a travelling yoga teacher. ‘Public speaking in my underwear’. Living in a different country. Proposing marriage on ‘day 18’. Becoming a voice-actor. Writing my thoughts and feelings online. Embracing nerve-wracking opportunities and ideas. And saying ‘yes’ to the most valuable friendships, relationships and shared human experiences.
All of it demanded varying degrees of vulnerability.
Letting go. Being open. Showing up. And diving in.
Without that vulnerability, much of it wouldn’t have happened.
And the stuff that did happen wouldn’t have been so fulfilling, so involving, so complete.
So I’ll carry on trying to face my fears and letting my defences down.
And moving my feet in the direction of every dream I have.
On the big stage. In my underwear.
Things come and go.
Lost and found. Success and failure.
Feels so random.
This is as it is.
You’re learning to just let things go.
And by letting things go you allow the next beautiful thing to come along.
If you get annoyed, upset and fearful at this natural state of change, it serves to block the next good thing that’s naturally flowing your way.
Bear in mind that the natural state of existence is abundant and creative.
So just do the action. Forget about the result. And allow life to simply flow.
You don’t find peace by getting away from where you are.
You find peace by accepting where you are, who you are, what you are, and what you’re feeling.
And by accepting it all completely.
In this moment. This breath.
Sink into the feelings you’re experiencing.
Go into them. Through them. Beneath and beyond them.
Dive deep. Rest in them. Let them be.
Be careful not to push against or judge them harshly.
For example, if you’re feeling anxiety, you’re feeling anxiety.
Don’t start from a place of labelling that knotted nervous centre as ‘wrong’ or ‘less’ or ‘unspiritual’. Do that, and you’ll amplify your discomfort.
Instead, just let it be there.
Knowing that all is valid and true in this moment.
All is part of all that is.
And all is good. To be embraced. Held. Allowed.
You don’t need to ‘fix’ anything.
Instead, dare to love yourself completely.
As you are.
And from there you may begin to discover that much of what you thought was ‘the problem’ was simply your response to the perceived ‘problem’ in the first place.
Before this journey started, you chose certain elements, factors and plot twists.
Specific people. Places. Flavours and textures.
Mindsets. Hangups. And emotional nuance.
Challenges you desired to face. Things you wanted to learn.
Pleasures. Pains. Losses. Gains.
And a whole host of experiences you longed to have.
And everything has played out with this clearly in cosmic-mind.
And no. It’s not all set in stone. Written in the stars. Or spelt out with that thing you call ‘fate’. That would be an oversimplification of something your mind cannot fully conceive just now.
But it is happening just as you wanted. Needed. Ached for.
So smile. Keep on moving. And sit and watch the movie play.
The natural flow is abundance. Goodness. Wellbeing. Happiness. Peace.
You don’t need to scrape and scratch and battle to bring things to you.
You don’t need to jump through hoops to manifest what you want in your life.
Simply dwell on the good stuff.
Say thanks for what you have and what you have achieved on the journey (the tangible, the intangible, the relationships and whatever makes your heart smile).
Really dwell on the good stuff, and how it makes you feel.
Daydream a little. Play back some happy memories and melt into your heart.
And if you’ve found ways of reducing the mindsets that get in the way of this wonderful flow of positivity then all the better. Taking steps to release your fear, doubt, anger, jealousy and self-pity will allow the universal flow to… well, just do what it naturally does and flow.
Whatever stuff you identify in your life that’s not doing you any good, that’s the stuff that can block the good stuff you want.
You know what it is. It’s time to let that shit go.
And then you can begin to see this manifesting malarkey as less of a process of ‘creation’ and more just a state of ‘allowing’.
Stop stopping the flow that wants to bring continued goodness into your life.
So many things affect us. Both visible and invisible, (from the food we eat, the actions we take, the people we share time with, the places we live and work, to the myriad energies that flow through this universe), that we risk forgetting what is surely the most present and powerful agent at work in our lives.
Those things that we dwell on – get wrapped up in – repeat and run through again and again.
For what we think is fuel for what we create.
Beware getting wrapped up in the mysteries of the universe, the cycles and energies and what may just be superstitions.
Start closer to home.
Become more aware of your thoughts. And as they wander to places that do not serve you, take a breath and gently bring them back to that which does.
Dwell on good. Dwell on your god. Spend time in your head with thoughts that uplift and fill you with light.
Thankfulness is a very good place to start.
An eternal flow of saying thanks for what is. Right here. Right now.
And from there the universe is yours to create anew.
Thank your body, for all that it has done for you.
It has brought you far.
Thank your legs, feet, and toes, for walking you here.
Your arms for all the work they’ve done, and the hugs they’ve shared.
Your hands for the myriad tasks they’ve completed.
Your inner workings for making sense of all food and drink you put inside.
Your eyes for looking out for you.
Your ears for keeping you informed.
Your skin for putting up its defences.
And for all the days, months and years your human form has carried your sparkling, radiant soul on this earthly journey. Say the biggest thank you of all.
And let’s not forget your brain. The remarkable machine that creates your mind and helps you experience this life in ways uncountable.
And how about then you say sorry, from your heart, for all you’ve done to your body and mind that hasn’t served you so well.
The thing you’ve consumed.
The thoughts you’ve dwelt upon that beat you down. Not lift up.
Say sorry to yourself.
Make peace with yourself.