Resistance is useless.

The other day I took my inner child, the little Kev, out for a stroll.

I’d been reading (and agreeing) that ‘all is valid’, that all is ‘the path’, and that there’s nothing better or worse about anything we may think or feel. It’s all a matter of perspective.

But if I know this and don’t act upon it, then it remains just a pleasing theory.

And as it was I just happened to be feeling like shit. So off I went, into the night, to spend some time with Kev, with no agenda. To try and let him just feel whatever he was feeling. Without changing anything. Without analysing anything. Without judging or labelling anything. And without any shame, blame or regret.

Just listening.  Feeling.  Allowing.

We chatted about all sorts of things – about growing up – about school and preschool – about home – about family – about friends – about fear – about anxiety – and about all the feelings that have influenced me and, in part, still define me.

And as we kept on strolling the stories came up fluidly, and sometimes with surprising clarity.

I gave no advice, applied no measurement and tried strongly to just relax, and not wish anything to be anything other than that which it was.

And I allowed waves of sadness, fear, irritation, agitation, confusion, loneliness and more to arise and just be, be, be. Along with the more easily entertained feelings of love, peace and warmth. Because there really is nothing wrong with any of these feelings and, at their root level, not even any difference between them. They’re all just somatic colours, comfortable and uncomfortable, in the painting of our lives. And even those feelings of strong discomfort aren’t going to present any danger (however much they may scream to the contrary).

And (of course!) it let stuff move. And feelings flowed. Emotions arose. And things in me palpably shifted and changed. And some uncomfortable stuff eased in the process.

All the tricky bits just seemed, well, a lot less tricky to acknowledge. And I found a great deal of comfort in the process.

Funny old game.
By trying to not try and change stuff, stuff can change.
By allowing, listening and not judging, silent answers just appear.

And I know from experience that when we fight against stuff, it has a habit of flaring up more and not budging an inch. And the thoughts, labels and inner dialogue that follow just adds fuel to the internal fire, strengthening the emotional aches and pains.

I guess what we resist really does persist.

So maybe try a little bit of acceptance and allowing instead.
See if that makes a difference.

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