I woke this morning to a sense that I was a little more separate – like a shining elongated polished bean – of white yellow shining metallic porcelain otherness – with all my other bits slip sliding around – in orbits and surfing in waves – leaves – layers of crispy flaky pastry – the core untouchable – strong solid immovable – silent and still – yet alive and warm – with all feelings and thoughts and sensations and emotions like leaves and feathers and flakes – shedding and smoothly rumbling around at some distance – and all in a state of flux – constant change – nothing permanent – all moving at different speeds – some feeling more ‘me’ more ingrained more tangible – but none of them actually ‘me’ – not permanent- all the just woke up tiredness and fuzziness and warmth and need and fear and irritation and opinion and impatience and irritation and everything was floating and flaking and moving and shedding like a crusty chrysalis – seed pod of the gods – the central core pure and still – the sensations far out… the reactions to those sensations closer to ‘me’ – and the BREATH acting like lube, keeping everything moving and safely away from the unshakable core.
And I felt more able to be. In the moment. Listening seeing. Without reaction. Without need for anything to be other than it just was and is. Just a gentle sense of warmth and love.
And each person I met. To feel more connection and genuine interest in them.
As they are also me.