To try and hold a feeling or a position or a mental state or an emotion in any way is not possible
as everything is impermanent
it just is
pure universal natural unadulterated truth – is that everything is in a state of flux – birth and decay – moving changing morphing
so to think of the present moment as some knife edge upon which we balance is erroneous
the present moment is flux
and to accept and embrace this flux is to be present – and to find peace
and then, beyond that, lie deeper worlds. that i have no concep of yet.
you can’t ‘be happy and stay happy’. happiness is not found in stasis and staying in one particular state – you had that wrong. it’s about the embracing of whatever is happening – but more than that – it’s about embracing the state of constant change
and even that is not to make me ‘happy’ – because how i FEEL is not a solid reality either – it matters not one jot how i FEEL about all this
what does matter is that it is simply the way things are. and the way things are is is is just the way things are. and we can call that PERFECT if we like. but even that gives it a semblance of right or wrong
when in fact my labelling and colouring in positive and negative language is not IT either
Anicca. Impermanence. Change.
They always said that to know the truth would set you free – and this is some of the story. it is certainly fundamental truth
I once before caught a glimpse of the truth and beauty of anicca. a couple years ago. on a three dayer. and now – i am sensing that i get it a lot more again – having just finished the first TNH book – and taken a bath.
how i FEEL about impermanence is not what matters – and it matters not if it MAKES ME HAPPY – what matters is to be with it – embrace it – breathe it – moment to moment to observe it… Goenka always says to keep an equanimous mind “WITH THE UNDERSTANDING OF ANICCA” – and i never grasped how understanding impermanence would give me a balanced mind (i used to hate the concept…) now i see… that knowing that impermanence is TRUTH is going to lead me that way. cos the only way is acceptance and equanimity – i have NO CHOICE – it doesn’t matter how i feeeeel about it – what matters is to stay balanced because i KNOW everything changes allll the time – so there is no other way
Truth is that everything is ANICCA
So keeping an EQUANIMOUS MIND is the WAY
Breathe. Feel sensations. And observe the constant change. Without labelling or measuring or judging or trying to hold or fix or change.
In a state of constant change.
And to replay past thoughts without strict purpose is getting off the current flowing wave. Don’t live behind the wave. Live ON the wave. As it morphs and flows and changes.
What does it feel like right now? OK. Breathe and observe that.
Rinse and repeat.
no need to GET INTO a certain state of feeling thinking being.
not possible to do that anyway
feel stressed and have to be somewhere? ok. take a breath and be with that.
it’s all ok